Is Your “Pot” Too Small For Your Dreams?


I’ve been staring at my bamboo plant in my office because I know that I need to repot it; it’s too big for its current pot. It wasn’t always. It started as a small plant in a small pot, but I knew that it needed more room in order to continue to grow.

Several months ago, I went to the store and purchased a new pot and soil. I lovingly transferred the bamboo to the new pot and watered it weekly. After about 3 weeks, I noticed new shoots growing out of the soil — I didn’t expect those; I just assumed that my plant would continue to grow upward as it had been.

Now, my bamboo plant is tall and has so many new shoots, its leaves are wilting because its current environment is no longer conducive to its growth and health.

I’ve written before about the process of transformational growth (See “Personal Transformation Has a Cost: Are You Willing To Pay?,” May 6, 2012):

From the time we are born we are changing or transforming. We don’t often think about transformation in that way, we simply see it as part of a natural process. What made me think about this is the fact that I have had to transform in order to achieve the things that were important to me — e.g., good grades, college education, job, promotion, etc.– or to pursue more personal things like a happy marriage, peace of mind, a spiritual connection with God, passion and purpose.

Each pursuit required a change in my thinking and behavior, which ultimately changed who I was and how I identified me to myself and to others. I’ve come to understand my transformational process as similar to something that happens in nature… For example, when a snake matures (stay with me!), it must shed its outer skin in order to grow. It’s called molting. If it does not shed its skin, it dies — it smothers in its old skin. I believe we humans are often prone to the same thing because we choose not to change our “skin,” meaning our thinking in order to pursue something new and different, especially when we know that our old skin no longer fits us.

I realize that I didn’t go far enough in my explanation because I talked about the internal environment (i.e., thoughts, attitudes, behaviors, etc.) that must change in order to become a better you, but I neglected the external environment that is equally important to one’s growth.

This includes simple questions like, “With whom do I choose to spend time — do they help or hinder my progress toward my better self?” “What places do I choose to inhabit — do they energize me or do I feel drained when I’m there?” “What am I spending my free time doing — am I learning or doing anything that helps others or myself?” These are all important “pot” issues because they determine if your environment is nurturing or restricting your growth.

Like my bamboo plant, I wonder what new shoots are lying dormant within me because I’ve allowed my growth to be contingent upon the size of my current pot — my environment— rather than the size of my dreams, goals and aspirations. But, as many of us know, changing environments means that you have to leave the old one and venture out into a new often unknown environment, and that’s scary, especially when you don’t know what the new will bring.

Ultimately, your new growth will require an investment in a new pot/environment. This may take the form of going back to school for additional training, leaving an unfulfilling job, seeking counseling to change habitual self-defeating thought patterns, saying goodbye to relationships that constantly take more than they contribute, choosing to break “enabling” behavior patterns that keep you guilt ridden and tied to a past and people you no longer want in your life, and attending events that have your future in mind even though your present self-talk says you’re not worthy to participate.

I know that I have to invest in a new pot for my plant; it’s well past the time to do so if I want it to continue to grow.

So, how about you: have you made the decision to invest in a new “pot” for yourself? I certainly hope so because, like a potbound plant, your “roots” — dreams, goals and aspirations — may die because they have no outlet to spread beyond their current confines.

The Harlem Renaissance Poet Langston Hughes in his poem Harlem, said it this way:

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Happy planting!

Refining On Purpose


For You, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined.” (Psalms 66:10 NKJV)

I was talking to my husband recently about the purpose of the trials in our lives that feel like we’re walking “through the fire.” Did you know that fire is often a necessary step in the refining process? For example, gold is heated to over 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit in order to make it 99.999% pure (or 24K for the Bruno Mars fans), while steel requires high temperatures in order to strengthen it for use.

One of the most compelling stories in the Bible about being tried by fire is Job’s. Job was a righteous man that God brought to the devil’s attention:

Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?” (Job‬ ‭1:8‬ ‭NKJV‬‬)

Job lost his children, his wealth and his health, but viewed it all as part of God’s refining:

Then Job answered and said:
“Even today my complaint is bitter;
My hand is listless because of my groaning.
Oh, that I knew where I might find Him,
That I might come to His seat!
I would present my case before Him,
And fill my mouth with arguments.
I would know the words which He would answer me,
And understand what He would say to me.
Would He contend with me in His great power?
No! But He would take note of me.
There the upright could reason with Him,
And I would be delivered forever from my Judge.

Look, I go forward, but He is not there,
And backward, but I cannot perceive Him;
When He works on the left hand, I cannot behold Him;
When He turns to the right hand, I cannot see Him.
But He knows the way that I take;
When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.
 
(Job 23:1-10)

The refining or the testing is not made to break you, but to build and strengthen you for God’s purpose, and to show God’s glory in you as his representative on earth.

This was especially true in the case of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego when the king required his subjects in Babylon to worship an idol. Their response not only demonstrated their faith in God, but God used their trial to demonstrate His majesty:

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If that is the case, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand, O king. But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up.” (Daniel 3:16-18 NKJV)
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“Therefore I (the king) make a decree that any people, nation, or language which speaks anything amiss against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego shall be cut in pieces, and their houses shall be made an ash heap; because there is no other God who can deliver like this.” (Daniel 3:29 NKJV)
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Every “refining” experience of mine was difficult and often painful, but necessary in hindsight because it prepared me for the next part of my God-ordained journey. And while I know that refining is often part of the process, being in the fire is still never easy or fun. However, when I reflect on the lessons learned and the strength I’ve gained, I’m humbled. And when I recall the glory God receives when I respond to the question, “How are you bearing up under that?!” and I respond,”God’s grace,” then all I can be is thankful for my “refining on purpose.”

 

Have you Hit a “Redirecting” Wall?


I was talking to my husband recently recounting the times when my life hit a wall and how God used that to redirect my steps. I’ve had many redirecting walls in my life. Several are particularly memorable:

Wall #1: I distinctly recall when my mother made the decision that it was better to be single and raise three girls under the age of 12 than to stay in an abusive marriage. We eventually moved into a nice house in an area that had seen better days. In fact, our street was at the end of a fairly steep hill; as I walked down to our house, it felt like I was entering another world. It was a little depressing. But, the move caused me to be introduced to the first teacher who made me feel like I could achieve anything with hard work and perseverance. Her name is Mrs. Mattie Stephens. She inspired in me a love of learning.

Wall #2: We then moved to a nicer area because my mom, wanting a better life for us, decided to marry someone who promised to “put a roof over our heads,” which he did. The only problem was that he was an alcoholic. Those years were extremely turbulent; we never knew what “my mother’s husband” (I refused to call him my step-father) would do on a daily basis. I found solace in the library. Through books, I could travel beyond my neighborhood and pursue any profession I chose simply because I could “see” it in the books I read. Those days, weeks, months and years curled up in the library and at home in books gave me a vision for a yet-to-be-revealed future.

Wall #3: I did not do well in math in high school because of a decision I made in response to an ignorant comment by my 10th grade math teacher. Instead of rising to his challenge, I shrunk, which resulted in my refusing to learn anything else from him. Consequently, my report card had “A’s” in every course, except math, where I consistently earned a “D.” My struggles in math caused me to work very closely with the Chair of the Math Department, Mrs. Lelia McBath, who forced me to complete all of the classes that I would require for college regardless of the grades I received. I hated it, but I trusted her, so I kept taking the classes. When I received my “flush” letter from the college that I did not get in, Mrs. McBath contacted them and said that they were making a mistake; she said that I was exactly the kind of student they needed. Because of her, they interviewed and admitted me. I have earned three degrees from that college because of her support.

Wall #4: I was admitted to college with the intent of becoming a surgeon. Here’s the problem: I struggled in every class that was required for medical school; they call it the BCPM – Biology, Chemistry, Physic and Math. In order to be admitted to medical school, your BCPM grade point average is calculated and reported. So, here I was in college trying to pursue the only dream that kept me moving forward through my own abusive relationship that carried over into my freshman year and a failing marriage in my sophomore year (let’s just say that I made a lot of bad decisions in a very short period of time). I felt like a boat adrift because I was not having success where I thought I would, and I didn’t have a “B” plan if it didn’t work out. Fortunately, I had to fulfill certain general requirements, one of those was in global studies. There were several courses that I could take to fulfill the requirement, but I chose anthropology. I walked into the class, met my professor Dr. Charles Callendar, and fell in love with the subject! I let my passion lead me to a Bachelors, Masters and Ph.D. in Anthropology.

Wall #5: I had been working for my college for almost two decades when the administration changed dramatically; I found myself having to constantly renegotiate expectations because I was assigned three different supervisors in 18 months. Things got so bad, that I became embarrassed to represent or be associated with the institution that I truly loved. I cried out to God and asked Him to deliver me from the bondage that I felt. The next thing I heard in prayer was, “Get ready to move.” I assumed God was going to take me out of that situation by moving me to another part of the university, but He moved me to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum, where I learned a great deal about effective nonprofit management and planning through my former boss Terry Stewart and my colleagues.

Wall #6: Since 2014, I have recounted my experiences with developing a music museum and the ups and downs inherent in a process of taking something from vision to reality. I thought this wall was catastrophic, in that my faith was tried to the breaking point. I questioned God wondering if I heard him correctly or if I misunderstood. At every question, the response I heard in prayer was, no, I was not mistaken; this part of my journey was divinely ordained. I must admit, though, that divinely ordained or not, it hurt more than I can possibly explain in writing! And, since God knows my heart and thoughts and I promised to be honest with Him…I hope never to experience again! Being a little farther down this road now, I am learning that it was all a set-up for something greater!

God has had me look at all of the times when things that I thought were walls were really times when he got me to meet people and experience things that were important to my future. I saw them as obstacles, but God knew they were divinely orchestrated periods of preparation.

Are you hitting walls not knowing what a next step should be? Maybe they are not walls that are meant to stop you, but “redirecting” walls that God is using to guide you into and to prepare you for your next moment of destiny!

 

 

I’m in the Room


I recently spoke to my cousin, who is pursuing her Doctorate in Pharmacology, about an experience I had a few years ago while participating in a leadership program in Cleveland, Ohio, my home town.

The exercise was part of the diversity module in the program. The instructor had all of the participants line up with our backs against a wall facing another wall. She indicated that she would make certain statements; if they applied to us, we were to step forward as many steps as she indicated for that particular statement. For example , if you graduated high school, you stepped forward once; if college, you took two steps forward. With the rules understood, we all began our march toward the opposite wall.

I was able to take about seven steps before my forward progress was halted because much of what she said did not apply to me. So, with each statement, the gap between me and others in the room widened. In fact, there were four of us closer to the original wall than we were to the opposite wall.

I have to admit that it was very humbling to realize the slow start in life I had compared to so many other people in the program. I literally had to shake off feeling “less than” or inferior to my colleagues. I thank God that in that moment of perceived humiliation, He quickly whispered to me, “But, you’re in the room!”

“I’m in the room! I’m in the room!, ” I yelled in my head. So, it didn’t matter that I didn’t have all of the opportunities that my colleagues had, I still made it to the same program at the same time they did! Wow, what an epiphany: God can place me wherever He wants, whenever He wants and I don’t have to have the same pedigree as everyone else in order to get there! All I have to do is show up and He’ll do the rest! Talk about reframing an experience! It was life changing!

The exercise really helped me understand that, when God has a plan for you, the “facts” don’t matter. What does matter is whether you’re willing to trust Him for the outcome by doing your part: in order to be selected for the leadership program, I had to complete the application and submit recommendations. I was not selected the first time I applied, and I vowed that I wouldn’t apply again. However, the next year, my boss insisted that I reapply. So, had I not followed through, I wouldn’t have been in the program to have that revelation.

This reminds me of one of my favorite “Successories” posters. The poster is of a basketball court. The ball is on the ground with a spotlight on it and the basketball rim with the caption, “You Will Miss 100% Of The Shots You Don’t Take!” I believe that The Lord requires that we take the shot with preparation (e.g., you should know what a ball and hoop are and the dynamics of shooting, etc.) while trusting that God will allow you to make the shot at the appropriate time and place to accomplish His will in your life.

Back to the “room” narrative…six months ago, my husband and I were sitting in a small stately room on the University of Cambridge campus in England to witness our youngest daughter’s graduation with a Masters of Philosphy degree in Latin American Studies. The event was very regal. There were approximately 400 people in the building and we were not allowed to speak or take pictures throughout the ceremony. We witnessed traditions that were centuries old, and all I could think of was how privileged I was: me, who was raised by a hard working mom in a low-income family; abused by a boyfriend, married and divorced in my early 20s, former suicide risk; who started my life over too many times to count, was sitting in England watching my child graduate from Cambridge! It hit me like a ton of bricks: God placed me “in the room” again!

So, in those moments when you compare yourself to your colleagues or others and feel like you don’t measure up for whatever reason, just remember that your credentials and experiences are only part of the equation; God owns the room and He chooses who occupies it!

Going “All In” to Get Your Wings


For the past two years, I have been relating my experiences developing the Global Black Music Center. There have been major highs and major lows, and I always believed that it would become a reality. I must admit, though, that there were times that “tried my soul,” as there are in anyone’s life, especially those who are pursuing their passion. In those times, I would ask God to reveal Himself to me so that I would know that I was on the right path. Without fail, God would open another door and that kept me moving forward.

My rallying cry became, “Feel the fear and do it anyway! …drag it with you, if you must.” Too often, fear of failure prevents us from attempting great things because we worry about what will happen if it doesn’t work out. I am no exception! But, I knew that I was living a moment of destiny; a moment for which I had been preparing most of my life. How could I pass it up now?! So, like a poker player, I believed I had a good hand and could win, so I moved all of my chips into the center of the table and said, “I’m going ‘all in!'”

You should know that I had days when my fears got the best of me and I couldn’t think straight; I could only feel anxiety or despondency. Then I would remember that the larger the building, the deeper you have to dig the foundation, so I kept putting one foot in front of the other to pursue the vision God had given me.

In the process, I learned that trusting God is not as easy as it sounds; I actually had to “walk my talk,” meaning that I had to live what I had been telling others on a level that I had not experienced before. It was very difficult at times and I constantly told God, “I QUIT!”  But, as much as I wanted and tried to quit, I couldn’t; my passion for the project was too strong. In addition, doors kept opening when I was certain they wouldn’t, so I walked, often blindly, trusting that God would continue to lead and provide.

Then something amazing happened: the door that was wide open closed shut! Even though I am certain that God called me to this task, things didn’t turn out the way I thought they would or should. I was devastated! I was also left with more questions than answers, and my faith took a major hit. I told family and friends that I feel like I have no ground under me because God asked me to step off the cliff and trust Him, I did and the results were disappointing, to say the least.

The feeling of not having ground underneath me is a new experience and not one that I wanted, but definitely what I now feel I needed. Let me explain: during the Exodus in the Bible, the Children of Israel had to leave the familiar place of Egypt, even though they were slaves there, to travel to a new place unknown to them, but promised by God. The Bible recounts their journey and says that their clothes and shoes didn’t get old and God fed and protected them for 40 years. This was a time of preparation: to leave their old identity and mentality as slaves and to remember who God had created them to be — chosen and blessed — and to depend on God rather than their masters and themselves. Their “cliff jumping” took 40 years before God allowed them to enter the Promised Land. I am fully persuaded that this portion of my journey has been preparation for my promised land.

And, while I have longed for steady ground over the past two years, I realized recently that this is the wrong prayer; I should be asking to live joyfully whether I have ground under my feet or not. A dear friend also reminded me of something that God told me during the most difficult part of this journey — He had given me wings to soar above the ground! I finally became aware that I’ve been so intent on seeking new comfortable ground, I didn’t honor the fact that God has changed me through this particular wilderness experience…I mean, season of preparation. My wings, if I choose to use them, allow me to fly closer to God, see farther than I have in the past and travel farther than I could without them.

This reminds me of a video that God brought to my attention: Steve Harvey, the comedian, says that success requires jumping off the cliff, so to speak, in order for your parachute (wings) to open (see video below).

Even though things didn’t turn out as a I had hoped they would, I now have a set of wings that enable me to soar. I wonder, though, is the experience of going “all in,” or laying it all on the line and pursuing your God-given passion, a prerequisite for gaining your wings? If it is, be prepared for confronting all or most of the fears you have because they will keep you stuck on the edge of the cliff looking down and wondering, “What if I fail, what will people think?” “What if I fall, will God really catch me?” Great questions!  But, if you’re ready to soar, you, like me,  must make a decision to trust God more than your fears…to feel the fear and do it anyway. I did and because of that, I’ve earned my wings. I’m still learning how to use them, but I’m thankful that I have them. It’s just a matter of time before God shows me how to soar higher than I could have ever dreamed, of that, I’m certain!

You Have The Right “Equipment”


I recently heard a sermon by Bishop T.D. Jakes in which he mentions a favorite poem of George Washington Carver. Bishop Jakes said that his mother brought the poem to his attention. I was intrigued, so I googled it. The poem is entitled “Equipment” by Edgar A. Guest. Some things need no explanation…

EQUIPMENT

Figure it out for yourself, my lad,
You’ve all that the greatest of men have had,
Two arms, two hands, two legs, two eyes
And a brain to use if you would be wise.
With this equipment they all began,
So start for the top and say, “I can.”

Look them over, the wise and great
They take their food from a common plate,
And similar knives and forks they use,
With similar laces they tie their shoes.
The world considers them brave and smart,
But you’ve all they had when they made their start.

You can triumph and come to skill,
You can be great if you only will.
You’re well equipped for what fight you choose,
You have legs and arms and a brain to use,
And the man who has risen great deeds to do
Began his life with no more than you.

You are the handicap you must face,
You are the one who must choose your place,
You must say where you want to go,
How much you will study the truth to know.
God has equipped you for life, but He
Lets you decide what you want to be.

Courage must come from the soul within,
The man must furnish the will to win.
So figure it out for yourself, my lad.
You were born with all that the great have had,
With your equipment they all began,
Get hold of yourself and say: “I can.”

–Edgar A. Guest

An Introduction To…Myself


I have written before about the journey that I am on as we prepare to create a museum. What has been resonating within me lately as a result of this process is the question, “Who am I?”

You see, I’ve defined myself throughout the course of my life through various titles including “daughter,” “sister,” “wife,” “mother,” “grandmother;” “student,” “secretary,” “department manager,” “admissions counselor,” “director,” “associate vice president,” “vice president,” “chief executive officer” and the list goes on.

But my overarching question is:  “What’s in a title?” I have found that titles are quick ways of identifying ourselves to others or for determining the category we believe they should be placed. They are also a means of making sense of who we are to ourselves.

I know that this is a deep, philosophical post, but think about it:

* How do you currently introduce yourself to someone? Do you first include your professional title or some other personal characteristic?

* What do you include in your running dialogue in your head about who you are?

Much of my school years from elementary through college were spent living up to someone’s beliefs about me. I’m fortunate in that many people thought that I had tremendous potential, so I worked hard to live up to that even when I wasn’t confident that I could. You see, I wanted so much to earn their faith that it compelled me to work to that end. I have joked with several friends that I deserve an academy award for portraying Jackie for so many years!

I am privileged to have made it to a time in my life where the “who I am” is about finding and being my authentic self – absent the titles. I get to discover and choose how I define me to myself and others! What a gift!

One of my favorite poems is by Marianne Williamson entitled Our Deepest Fear

   Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

   It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

  We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?”

   Actually, who are you not to be?

   You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

   There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

   We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

   It’s not just in some of use; it’s in everyone.

   And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

   As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

So, I have come to this place of self-enlightenment where my God-given light, as Ms. Williamson notes, may shine as bright as it was created to shine.

May you do the same!

 

Purpose in the Wilderness


I have been silent for several months because I have been traveling through the wilderness. For those acquainted with the Bible, this was the time during which God taught the children of Israel how to depend on Him after their 400-year slavery in Egypt.

The wilderness experience is usually a very lonely time; it’s often a time of preparation and depending upon God in a way that you have not before, and it prepares you spiritually for living at a different level IF you are willing to go through the process of change that is required.

In an earlier blog, I mentioned the book “The Dream Giver” by Bruce Wilkinson as being extremely helpful to me at various points in my journey. This is especially true now!

Wilkinson tells the story of a young man named Ordinary from the Land of Familiar. Ordinary has been visited by the Dream Giver, who has placed a dream in his heart. The book recounts Ordinary’s journey from the Land of Familiar to the Land of Promise and his transformation from being “Ordinary” to becoming a “Somebody.”

Chapter four entitled, “Ordinary Enters the Wasteland,” has become a touchstone for me during this time. I want to share with you the portion of the story that speaks to me:

More time passed. The longest hours and days Ordinary could ever remember passed. Desperately, he began to look for a way out…Every delay made him more determined to find a quicker route. But every attempt only led to another dead end. Again and again, Ordinary lost his way. Again and again, he cried out for the Dream Giver to show him the way. But no answer came. Why had he ever trusted the Dream Giver to guide him in the first place?

The day came when Ordinary finally gave up. He sat on his suitcase and refused to move until the Dream Giver showed up with a plan. But the Dream Giver didn’t show up that day or the next. Ordinary had never felt so lost and alone. He became angry. He got angrier and angrier.

…Ordinary stood to his feet. But as far as he could see, there was only sand. The path to His Dream had disappeared completely. Obviously, his entire trip through the WasteLand had been a Waste! Hot tears coursed down his dirty cheeks. “You’re not a Dream Giver,” he shouted, “You’re a Dream Taker! I trusted you. You promised to be with me and help me. And you didn’t!” Then Ordinary stumbled in despair across the sandy Waste, dragging his empty suitcase behind him. His Dream dead and now he wanted to die, too. When he came to a scraggly tree, he lay down in its scraggly patch of shade and closed his eyes. That night, he slept the sleep of a dreamless Dreamer.

The next morning, Ordinary heard something. Startled, he peered up to see a shimmering Somebody sitting in the branches of the tree. “Who are you?” he asked, as she climbed down to the ground.

“My name is Faith,” she said. “The Dream Giver sent me to help you.” “But it’s too late!” cried Ordinary. “My Dream is dead. When I needed the Dream Giver most, he was nowhere in sight.”

“What do you need that you haven’t received?” asked Faith. “Well, if it weren’t for the few springs of water I found,” answered Ordinary, “I’d be dead of thirst by now!”

“Yes? And?” she asked. “If it weren’t for the fruit I found, I’d be a walking skeleton!” he replied…”Oh, my!” Faith murmured. “And?” “Well,” huffed Ordinary, “a little guidance would have been nice. Ever since I came here, it’s been one delay after another. I’ve been wandering in circles since I don’t know when. What a waste!”

“I see,” said Faith, nodding. “So, what will you do now?” “Just tell me how to get back to Familiar,” he said. “I’m sorry,” she said. “But, I can’t help you with that.” “That figures,” said Ordinary. “The Dream Giver sends me a helper who can’t help!” “You might be right,” said Faith. “But that’s for you to decide.” Then Faith walked away in a direction Ordinary felt sure was wrong.

It wasn’t long before Ordinary began to have second thoughts. What if he was wrong?…He began to miss her. He realized that while they were talking, he had felt hope for the first time in a very long time. Ordinary jumped to his feet and scanned the horizon…Ordinary had an idea. He climbed the scraggly tree to the top. From there, he could see Faith in the distance. As quickly as he could, he climbed down and set off in the same direction.

Later that same day, Ordinary was eating some fruit beside a trickle of water, when he saw his journey through the WasteLand in a whole new way.

      Food enough for the day

     Water, when he needed to drink

     A path to follow that led to Faith

How could he have been so blind? Even when the Dream Giver had been nowhere in sight, he had always been near.

Great story, right! (The rest of the book is equally good!)

Here’s what I’m learning in my wasteland/wilderness:

  1. God is absolutely in control! As a recovering type A personality, I have had to take my hands off of this big project and surrender it to God on a daily basis. It is one of the most difficult things I have ever done! (Pray for me!)
  2. Recognize that since it is His project, He will provide the resources. I’ve preached this to others in the past and am now hearing my words come back to me.
  3. There are no shortcuts — it requires that I “walk it out” for however long it takes.
  4. Look at God instead of the circumstances. Early in the process, my mood would swing from excitement to stark terror until God reminded me that He called me to this project and that He is doing the work through me.
  5. God works everything together for good…and everything means everything! (Romans 8:28)
  6. Be grateful for what God has already done for me while I am in the wilderness. Recalling God’s many blessings helps to strengthen me on my journey.
  7. God must get the glory! — it is never about me. It’s always about what God wants to accomplish in and through me.

The bottom line is that I’m learning what Ordinary learned: when God gives you a dream, faith in God is key!

Onward to the Land of Promise!

Are You Noah?


I recently had The Lord Jesus remind me about the story of Noah. To recap: Noah was given an assignment by God to build an ark because God was going to destroy the earth and only Noah’s wife, sons and their wives and the animals, insects and birds who lived on the ark would be saved. God gave Noah specific instructions about how long it would rain (40 days and nights) and He even told him when the rain would begin.

I thought it strange that The Lord would bring this to my attention, but it made sense when you consider that Noah was asked to do something that others thought ridiculous — to build an ark in anticipation of an event that had never happened in history, especially in an area not known for its significant rainfall!

Can you imagine Noah trying to explain to his neighbors that God told him that a flood was going to cover the earth and that he had to build this huge boat? Can you imagine the ridicule he must have received? The questions about his sanity? The stares? The giggles and laughter every time someone passed his dwelling?

I’m certain that he had moments where he questioned God: “God, are you sure you want me to do this? It doesn’t make sense to me, but if you say so, I trust you.” Or, “God, my family and I are taking the heat because of what you told me to do. Please don’t let them or me be embarrassed!” Or, “God, I heard you say to build the ark. I’ll do it, but, while I have faith, it would be helpful to have some idea about the “when” this will happen to make this waiting bearable.”

If you’re like me, I sometimes question God when the thing He’s instructed me to do is so big that I can’t imagine how “little old me” could ever accomplish it. For example, when The Lord told me to go back to school to get my Masters and then my Ph.D., I said “Did you see the grades I earned in undergrad? Lord, they’ll laugh at my application.” They didn’t and I went on to earn my Masters and Ph.D.

Or when The Lord told me to go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum after having worked in higher education for 17 years. I said, “Lord, there is no way they will hire me, I have very little knowledge of Rock and Roll music.” They did and I had the privilege of working there for almost seven years.

Now, The Lord has called me to create the Global Black Music Center in Atlanta. My situation is similar to Noah’s in that it has never been done before and I’ve asked Him just about every question I could about the process. Some He’s graciously answered, others not. Either way, I’m committed to the task because as Noah found…God is faithful to what He calls you to do.

Now, the rest of Noah’s story…

I wonder how his neighbors felt when it began to rain and the water began to crest higher as they watched Noah’s boat — now filled with he and his family and all the creatures God told him to collect — drifting by? Noah must have been ecstatic when the first drops began — “Here it comes!” His faith in what God instructed Him to do was being realized!

So, here’s a question for you: Has God placed a big idea or dream in your heart and you haven’t moved on it because of how big it is, how small you think you are or what others, including your family and close friends, will say if you (so called) fail?  If so, let me invite you to read in the Bible Genesis, chapters 6-8 for Noah’s story and the book The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson, author of the Prayer of Jabez.

Finally, there was a television show in the late 1960s called Mission Impossible. The secret agents would be given an assignment on a pre-recorded tape. At the end of the tape, the speaker would say, “Your mission…should you decide to accept it…”  YOUR mission, should you decide to accept it, is to believe that God would never bring the idea to you if He didn’t know that you could do it with His help, of course! Bishop Jakes said it this way: “God always pays for what He orders.”  Your part is to trust that He has your back and will, like Noah, make it rain just like He said He would!

Enjoy the cruise!

 

“Try Not! Do or Do Not. There is No Try”: Life According To Yoda


During my 11 year journey to becoming Dr. Jacklyn Chisholm, my wonderful husband and a mentor of mine often reminded me, “If it was easy, everyone would have a Ph.D.” Those words fed my spirit and became my rallying cry. I didn’t realize until much later that the movie Star Wars, and in particular, the character Yoda, would provide me additional words to live by…

I recently had a conversation with my daughter who is applying to graduate school.  We were discussing the process and the essay that is required to complete the application. I told her that she just needs to “Do It,” like Nike recommends in their commercials.  After almost 20 minutes, I asked her to repeat to me what I suggested her next step should be.  She said, “You told me to try.” I said, “No. My advice to you was “Just Do It!”

I then described to her the moment in my doctoral process when I was stuck in “analysis paralysis” — the place where I couldn’t move forward because I felt that I was missing too much information. In actuality, I was SCARED because I didn’t know what the outcome of all of my hard work would be.

The issue was not that I didn’t know what to write about;  I had an outline and all of the data that I could gather, but I didn’t know how to organize it. Questions like, “What would the committee look for in the paper? How long should it be? What if I leave something out?”  had me tied in knots. You see, I had worked for over 10 years to get to this point of writing the dissertation, and now all of those hours and days without sleep, feelings of anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness, joy and excitement hinged upon 100+ pages of a dissertation that I had to defend to a four-person faculty committee. Talk about pressure!!

In a previous blog and as I noted above, the words, “If it was easy, everyone would do it” were instrumental in getting me through graduate school. However, I still had to do the work and walk my path in order to earn the prize that awaited me at the end of the process. I have often likened it to running a gauntlet with people and obstacles standing in my way. I had to decide (there goes that word again) that I was in it for the long haul.

You will recall that I began the Ph.D. process knowing that God had brought me to it– I didn’t begin graduate school to earn a Ph.D. God only talked to me about applying for the Masters program. It was in my obedience and following through on His guidance that I was told that if I “high passed” the same comprehensive (or “comp”) exam that I was required to complete to earn the Masters, I would be automatically admitted to the Ph.D. program.

My response was, “Is this the kind of doctor you want me to be God!” See, I began undergrad expecting to become a physician, not a psychological anthropologist, but once I accepted God’s plan for me to pursue a Ph.D. rather than a M.D., God then revealed the next step in my process. Like Abraham (for the Bible scholars), God called him to leave his hometown without telling him where he was going until he packed up and left. In other words, it was when Abraham moved that God began to reveal the destination!

Once I agreed to go with God’s plan, my initial internal dialogue with God became, “I’ll try to do what you want me to, but I am afraid because I am outside of my comfort zone and I don’t know where you are leading me.”

I have one more example,  I mean, lesson to share on this subject…While I was walking down the aisle to marry my first husband, my thoughts were “I’ll try to make this marriage work. If it doesn’t, I’ll get a divorce.” Needless to say, it happened just as I thought it would because a try is not a commitment to a success, it’s a commitment to an attempt. Yoda understood this when he was coaching young Luke Skywalker, who had returned to the planet where he was to receive training to become a Jedi Knight…

Luke crash-landed his ship in water in his attempt to find the Jedi master to train him. He didn’t recognize Yoda initially as the one he was seeking.  Yoda instructed Luke to move the ship out of the water with “the Force.”

Luke responded: “All right, I’ll give it a try.

Yoda says: ” No! Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try.”
Luke then says, “I don’t, I don’t believe it.” and Yoda ends with, “That is why you fail.”

I don’t know what “tries” you are attempting. I hope not a lot because you could spin your wheels and make very little headway because you are not fully committed to your success.

So, please, for your future’s sake… take the advice of a pint-sized Jedi Master and a blissfully married woman with a Ph.D. — TRY NOT! DO… OR DO NOT. THERE IS NO TRY!