Four questions:
1) What would you do if you were not afraid?
2) What would you do if money weren’t an issue?
3) What is your passion?
4) What are you willing to do or sacrifice to pursue it?
Each of these questions have my destiny wrapped within them…
When I was younger, I used to spend a great deal of my time thinking about how my life would be when I grew up. As I mentioned in other posts, there was a lot of dysfunction in my family – not unlike everyone else that I know! In order to cope with it, I would go to the library and check out books about far away places that I would visit as an adult or I would imagine the fantastic life that I would live.
My mother, more than anyone else, influenced my love of learning. She also helped to fuel my desire to pursue my passion because she had always wanted to go to nursing school, but felt that she had to settle for a career as a surgical technician because of her family responsibilities in raising three girls as a single parent. As we became adults, my sisters and I would encourage her to pursue her dream, but she would always say, “I’m too old.” Unfortunately, my mother died at the age of 53 without having given herself permission to go to nursing school.
Her comments regarding the importance of education and the lesson I learned from her unwillingness to pursue her passion of becoming a nurse combined with my dream of a better life through education kept me focused even when things in my personal life took a turn for the worst.
I have met many people who want more than they have now — and I don’t mean more stuff — they want to go to college, they want to secure a better or more satisfying job or they want to open a business, but what gets in their way often is their fear of what they will have to do or possibly lose if they were to pursue whatever their passion or dream may be. I really understand their concern because I have confronted these same issues throughout my life, especially in the past 20+ years. Fortunately, asking myself each of the four questions at crucial times has been the key to my success so far.
Question one, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?,” is powerful! It gets to the heart of what prevents many people from pursuing their passion – FEAR. Fear has a way of grabbing us by the throat and not allowing us to move forward, so we stay stuck in situations that either no longer feed our spirit or never have. Hopefully, you’ve heard that FEAR is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. If we were to confront the fear, we’d often find that it’s a barking dog with no teeth!
I was in a place of fear early in my professional career, and one of my mentors said something so profound that it shook me out of my complacency. He said, “Feel the fear and do it anyway!”— drag it along as you pursue your dreams. That’s how I was able to overcome my fear of failure in college and in different professional roles.
The second question is equally impactful: “What would you do if money weren’t an issue?” How many times have you said to yourself or has someone said to you “How are you going to pay for school? How are you going to pay for the training? How are you going to get there? How, how, how? This is what I’ve learned in my journey: if I believe that I am in God’s will, then the money or whatever resources I need will be provided. I heard Bishop T.D. Jakes say it a little differently, “God always pays for what He orders.” What a powerful reminder that God is my source, and as long as I am in His will, all of my provision for the journey will be made!
The third question, “What is your passion?,” is often ignored by people because to ask the question means that you want to know the answer. I’ve met many people who refuse to ask themselves the question because the answer would require sacrifices they are not willing or feel that they can’t make.
My passion for a long time was to earn a Bachelors degree. I’ve recounted some of the challenges that I faced in pursuing it, but what I glossed over were the numerous times when the degree seemed to get farther and farther away; I became exhausted and disillusioned because obstacles, big and small, were in my path – some I created and some were created by others. What kept me going was God reminding me that, “Anything worth having is worth working for.”
Which leads to question four: “What are you willing to do or sacrifice to pursue your passion?”
When I told my husband that I felt that God was leading me to return to school and earn a Masters degree and Ph.D., my husband said, “If God wants you to do it, then I’m behind you!” (Sorry ladies, he doesn’t have a brother.) Our girls were 1 and 4 when I started. They were 12 and 15 when I completed the Ph.D.
What kept me going for what seemed like a thousand years in school was something a mentor said to me during this time: “If it was easy, everyone would do it.” What a blessing that statement was and is to me! This one statement separates those who accomplish their goals from those who talk about accomplishing theirs. Pursuing your passion or your dream will cost you something – it always does. But I want you to consider this:
If it takes you five (or more) years to pursue your passion or achieve your dream, do you plan to be here five years from now? If so, you can either be five years older having pursued your passion or five years older still thinking about achieving your dream. It’s your choice!
So, are you ready to join those of us who have adopted the mantra, “If it was easy, everyone would do it?” I certainly hope you are!
Let me help you start this part of your journey today: On your mark… get set… GO!